Warriors Album Review
Have you ever been hit with a baseball bat by a clown? Neither have I, but I imagine it would feel similar to listening to Lin Manuel Miranda and Eisa Davis’ Warriors.
Quick heads up, throughout this review, I will be spoiling the entire plot, but I assure you, I will not do it justice.
Clown beat down stage 1: “Ow, why would you do that?”
For those like me, you did not know
A) Lin Manuel Miranda released a new concept album.
B) That concept album was based on the 1979 cult classic “The Warriors.”
C) Anything about that film.
You see, I’m 24 and uncultured, so pulp action films featuring baseball mimes are a lost art to my virgin eyes and I went in entirely blind. Luckily the story is very easy to follow: the warriors (a gang), is called to a gang gathering (a gangering if you will) where tons of rival crews await to hear a gang preacher talk about why they should “join together in harmony and also fuck cops.” Then she gets shot by America’s sweetheart, Luther. The warriors are falsely accused of the murder and they go on the run.
Now, personally, upon hearing that setup, my first thought is not “Gotta make a musical concept album about that.“ It sounds like everyone, including Lin Manuel Miranda, agreed, so he left the idea steeping in brain juice for quite some time. Then (presumably) he received a check from Disney for roughly “all of the money” said, “Eh, fuck it.” and joined forces with Eisa Davis to create whatever this is.
If you’re wondering who Eisa Davis is, so did I! Davis is an accomplished playwright and actress herself. She’s related to Angela Davis, a fact that is equal parts fascinating and irrelevant. She seems to have been a driving force in the musical experimentation of the album, advocating for the use of an in-house band and (up until writing this album) had also never seen the 1979 cult classic.
So, is going in with no understanding of the movie the best way to approach this album? Um, It’s certainly the most surprising way. If you’re expecting In the Heights or Hamilton, it’s probably not the best strat. Honestly, if you go in with any specific vibe expectations, then no, you are not going to get whatever you’ve constructed in your mind. Which leads us to stage 2.
Clown beat down stage 2: “Oh, you’re a clown.”
This album is absurd. Sure, it does contain Mirandaisms, especially in the first few songs that tie it to the creator, such as Derailed also known as “the song they will play at the Tony’s if this gets adapted.” A fabulous fast-paced ballad that explodes into a large group number establishing several recurring character motifs. But as soon as the emo growl metal and ska enters the picture, your neoliberal daddy has left for a pack of smokes and is not coming back.
Lin himself is not featured and has abandoned us with a tiny car filled with 1000 cameos, some of the highlights include Ghost Face Killah, Ms. Lauryn Hill, Stephen Sanchez, and Busta Rhymes, you know, everyone’s favorite founding fathers. Yet outshining them all is Kim Dracula. Have you ever heard of Kim Dracula? I had not heard of Kim Dracula, but if you haven’t noticed, their name is Kim Dracula. What more could you possibly want? Kim assumes the villainous role of Luther, the emo growl metal shooter (a classic villain archetype). Now, dear reader, it is here I must make a confession. By this point in my first listen, as Kim Dracula’s Luther appeared, my brain was still in the wrong setting. I was discombobulated from the fresh batting and had yet to see my assailant. “Hmm, the sonic signature present may be undercutting the severity of the central conflict.” I pontificated as Kim Dracula growled about shooting the gang god. “Perhaps this album lacks the narrative and tonal cohesion necessary to beget a satisfying experience.” And other very reasonable critiques of a musical adaptation of a 1979 action movie Robert Ebert once called “a ballet of stylized male violence.” And then there were orphans.
Orphan Town answers the age-old question “What if someone told the gangs from West Side story that they were a bunch of virgins then threw a Molotov cocktail at them- oh and also its ska, kinda?” Is the song particularly good or catchy? No, not really, but it’s pretty funny. And this is the moment it clicked in my brain: This a clown, I have been hit in the face by a clown, and much like the real thing, that made the experience much more enjoyable.
Clown beat down stage 3: “Well this is a little awesome.”
Do not assume my clown analogy (clownogy if you will) means “This is so bad it’s good.” Quite the contrary. I’m not a clown myself (debatable) but I have a deep appreciation for the art of clowning. Whether it’s their original deconstruction of adulthood’s social expectations or their contemporary interpretation as goofy little guys goofing on you, to clown is to work. But like, would you go to a circus with the same expectations as an A24 movie? No, just have fun, idiot.
After murdering some orphans and escaping dastardly roller skaters, the warriors beat up a cop and are seduced by a K-pop band. The sheer scope of genres this album tackles is truly astounding. Does it nail all of them? No, but it’s always pretty fun and when your average song is only 3 minutes long, you get some wiggle room to fuck around. Plus if you don’t like what they’re trying, just remember this experimentation gifts us with the graphic sound design of a woman being beheaded by a cop. Reunion Square, a song that is simultaneously incredibly well done (both emotionally and compositionally), very experimental, and- I cannot emphasize this enough -involves a cop beheading a woman with a train.
As our remaining heroes return to their home turf, Luther (Moriarty’s final form) comes speeding into town in a hurst, repeating the line “WARRIORS, COME OUT AND PLAY!” Which finally rang the pop culture bell, and made my dog brain recognize a reference. “WAIT THAT’S THE THING FROM THE THING!” I thought to myself. For the record, upon re-listening to the album, they said that same line a Mirandian number of times, along with “Can you dig it?” Another pop culture touchstone that I was simply too stupid to notice. Nevertheless, they kick the shit out of Luther in a final climactic song, and upon interrogating him as to why he’s committed such a heinous crime, he responds “No reason, I like doing stuff like that.” That is a quote, I am quoting a line written by the winner of every Tony. This is what art should be, fight me.
So, will you like Warriors by Lin Manuel Miranda and Eisa Davis? I don’t fucking know. Do you like action movies, hip hop, broadway, folly work, narrative dissonance, and clowns? I do, but I’m pretty sure they made this album for me and like two other people. Should you listen to Warriors? Absolutely! You might be one of those two other people! The album’s clownery is matched only by its creativity. I’m not sure why a clown would hit me with a baseball bat, but if this is any indication, I’m certain it would be an interesting sight to behold.
Oh, and every main character is gender-flipped from the original film. If that’s where a Broadway hip-hop concept album adaption of a 1979 pulp action movie crosses the line, you need more interesting opinions.
